noticeable

i like how tiny wisdom talks about feelings. it feels like i am not alone with my pikiran benang kusut facing my adulting journey. 

their post about turning 30 popped up not longer after my birthday. or the last one about  friendship suddenly appears after i drafted about a strange feeling of forgetting someone. it feels like maybe we are at the same phase of life, and somehow i find it is relieving that other person may feel the same. 

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have you ever felt a guilty feeling about forgetting someone? 

i usually have a low attachment with most of people i met in life. kaya ya udah, people come and go, and it is fine. 

but, suddenly, i dont know why but i feel a strange feeling of being so sad that i may not remember you anymore, that i dont know you anymore. 

i realize that people may forget me, and do not recognize me. so, i feel it was okay for me that i may also forget people i met. this is one of the reason why sometimes i asked: will you say a hi if we meet, and ask the same questions from my side: will i say a hi if we meet. 

i suddenly realize that i've never faced a separation in my life. with all my permissiveness and all today technologies etc, i always think there will always be next time. and life change, peope change, sometimes the next time fades away, and i feel okay most of the time. 

but not this time. 

maybe a sad feeling of separation is real. a sad feeling for something that i've never imagined that i could feel. a guilty feeling of starting to forget someone i used to see.

but, i hope everything will be fine 

as always.

best,

Ayu