noticeable

another random rant

an old writing. 

i was a little bit shock and devastated after the quick count a few months ago. i've never felt like this before for any other election in my life. it is not merely because the lost, rasanya lebih seperti dikhianati kehidupan nyata kalau real world can be so awful. di dunia nyata, kejahatan menang melawan kebaikan. did you see what happen in gaza? and no one, no any single person can stop israel do the genocide. i feel like dissapointed karena ternyata moral value yang selama ini gue punya bukan common practice. well, i guess ~40% warga masih punya common sense yang sama, but it is not enough ternyata.

i was planning to write about life values to help me remember what my parents pass on me. years ago, i was thinking apa sih value, and then i think, maybe it is too "sok bener". but after the election and what happen in the world, i rethink and  i realize that i feel so gratefull that i was raised with values from mom and dad that maybe not everyone has had. and now i think, a good perspective need to be shared

i do not believe you are allowed to do bad things for greater good. well, econ will always say to see the nett benefit, but personally I hate when someone says that politics with fake smile, fake opinion, semua kecurangan, kepurapuraan, whatever it is are needed for greater good. i was watching oppenheimer last year and felt really sick when they said bombing is needed to prevent the bigger war, when the top persons easily chose cities to be bombed without any guilty feeling.

i do believe if you want something good, you need to do it dengan cara yang benar. tidak ada opsi jalur belakang to get school/job/whatever that mom and dad ever suggest to me. i know that cheating is bad although it will help you get good grades etc. It was not even a choice since the first time. it was my dad wisdom, kalau menjadi manusia itu harus migunani, have dignity, and self respect, not because you have position or money, but because you do something right, you were not ngerepotin/ngejahatin orang lain.

so, i tend to do something because it is what i need to do, that is what is right to do, not for an impression. so when they said that kecurangan, korupsi, make other people miserable, whatever is needed for a greater good, i just can't understand. 

being adult is not enough testing my moral value. world feels getting worse these days. climate change, war, pandemics, poor social life.  aku tau bahwa Allah akan menguji manusia dengan sedikit rasa takut, rasa lapar, but i hope He will always be with me. 

will brighter days come soon?

best,

Ayu