noticeable

 

coincidences part four: numbers and dates

one days ago, someone asked my favorite number to be put as random generator and i was freezing and ended up saying i dont have any. if i was asked many long time ago, i would easily said it is  9, a magic number between 0-9. but it is really hard since dad's icu bed number was 9 and the room number was 1201 and 1208. 

but then, last lebaran (my first lebaran after he's gone), i revisited our chats and pictures and anything and i have so many good memories with him on many big days, and many other days.

i start to like 9 again after seeing so many wishes and loves i get from him. and now i realized maybe for him, big days celebration  is a way to celebrate good life that He gave, a way of thankfullness.

and i know he will be really happy for idul adha this year. the next four days will also be mom and dad's 33 years anniversary, but at the same time 7 months without him. 

i read rian's tweet some times ago, it said something about coincidences things of numbers that it was actually His bless. i followed him many years ago just because i am interested with his animation works without knowing who he really is. he lost his mom in a sudden some years ago, and i followed his journey on how he face the grieves. he celebrate his mom, his mom wishes, his mom value, he keep his mom's life in his daily life. and it is beautiful. as well as garfield conversation with elmo. he said that maybe missing someone is actually okay because it is a form of celebrating their life.

i know grieving is selfish, and sometimes it is really hard, and it hurts. but now i realize that remember someone in your life and keep them with you in your memory along the life journey is somehow beautiful. 

i know that he always be with me, he will always beside me. 

best,

Ayu