noticeable

 

tomorrow is august, 28th. 

and it should be 10 years after graduation and i was planning to write some reflections. 

rather than finally have my bravery to talk that i want to quit this morning.

these past three weeks has been one of the lowest phases in my life. it was no one's fault. it is me, the problem is me. and before it will be going to get worse, i need to talk, therefore they have better risk  mitigation. 

i said i cried a lot this days when i am alone, sometimes in front of my mom and she never gave me a judgement. then my sister came and i talked to her finally as someone who i know i can talk to no matter what. and i was saying that lately, i even questioning why i am even doing this. 

i've been trying so hard, but maybe not hard enough. 

but then as far as i remember, every time i decide to quit, my dad never asked me why. he never demand the reason why and it is really relieving. why i stop learn bicycle, why my sister change her major in collage, why i resign so many times. 

but life is never failed to surprise me, i've met so many kind people even if i was dissapointed them a lot. i am really sorry but i really thankfull.

and have you ever wondering why some arts is inline with some episodes of your life?

and it was tiny wisdom (again) that suddenly i saw on my inbox after i talked that i want to quit. 

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Yesterday’s battles were exams.

Today’s struggles are at work.

...........

Not long ago, I was sending out job applications, desperate for a chance.

Now, I sometimes stare at my desk and wonder, what am I doing with my life?

Yesterday, the dream was to live the life I’m living right now.

Today, I sometimes forget that this was the dream.

The truth is: One day we’ll look back and wonder—where did all that time go?

Will we be proud of what we did? Or quietly regret what we let slip by?