i like how tiny wisdom talks about feelings. it feels like i am not alone with my pikiran benang kusut facing my adulting journey.  their post about turning 30 popped up not longer after my birthday. or the last one about  friendship suddenly appears after i drafted about a strange feeling of forgetting someone. it feels like maybe we are at the same phase of life, and somehow i find it is relieving that other person may feel the same.  -------------- have you ever felt a guilty feeling about forgetting someone?  i usually have a low attachment with most of people i met in life. kaya ya udah, people come and go, and it is fine.  but, suddenly, i dont know why but i feel a strange feeling of being so sad that i may not remember you anymore, that i dont know you anymore.  i realize that people may forget me, and do not recognize me. so, i feel it was okay for me that i may also forget people i met. this is one of the reason why sometimes i asked: will you say...

  to save yourself first, what does it really mean? i was rethinking this so many times and today i feel like is it really a sign from Him?  ini tuh rasanya kaya di situasi mau resign to save myself but am i really sure to leave my kind workmates? it feels like so egois, but maybe i can make more opportunities. maybe i can take mom and dad and families one day after i take that risk? should I? really, should I? sudahlah patah hati dengan 50% rakyat indonesia, masih harus patah hati juga because maybe i cant see your life anymore dan semakin patah hati juga karena tidak bisa lagi makan mcd ice cream to pukpuk myself.

  tomorow is election day. and i have undescribable feeling for this, but i really hope Allah will save us. last five years, i made no vote, but not this time. please vote, wisely. 

  too many things i want to write. should i write my opinions, my life values, my experiences, my sad feelings, or what...

mungkin memang benar, hidup pada dasarnya hanyalah sawang sinawang i was quite surprising everytime i know that there is anyone who interest with my life even though i did not make an update on daily basis, i even did not make any update. i feel like, wow i am being remembered... and maybe it is true when they said that your mundane life is maybe something that other people wish for. so, days ago, an old friend of mine asked me what i do for a living because she wants to change career, while many people want to be in her position. and after some messages i suddenly realize that maybe my life is not that bad and i should be more gratefull some people have a good career, beautiful face, but bad spouse, some people have beautiful face, good spouse but financial constraint, other peole have so so life but rich parents, and there will always people who have all of the good things, and that's life. with all the problems in the world, life is unfair, indeed. and everyone has their own rea...

  if i meet you somehow, will i feel that sad again?

  and if i tell you my stories (and all the restlessness), would you listen?