you have done the right thing, Ayu.  dont worry and that's okay.

there is one thing that i realized. your prejudice on something or someone is really influence your decision and ruin your objectivity. and that is why, your first intention is really important and it is supposed to be free from prejudice. it will reflect what you are stand for. you are no longer looking for strategy because you know what your real intention of your decision.  real intention doesnt inline with any strategy whatever movement. i know it sounds really cliche and naive. but it helps me have a good life and peace of mind. i hate any of strategy, personally..

  hey, after i lost my dad, i think i change i my mind.  i think, i would still want to have my dad in my life, although i know i will lost him.  i realized that so much loves that i get from him made the sad feeling of losing him a little bit easier to bear. 

  about finding yourself if there is a theme for this week, maybe it would be something about to not lost yourself.  after i saw a short video about an ending of a drama, i finally decided to watch the whole episodes this week.  then i watched unwritten seoul. ambil waktu tipis2 while in the middle of a bunch things to do (and took a whole saturday to watch 6 episodes in a row). the most reason awalnya karena gue lagi banyak wondering tentang writings. i will tell you about this other time. but it was one of best decision. the drama is really really good, and become my top 3 favorites so far.  and again i was amazed how some arts portrayed some of my life that much in my life episodes. because this is my first life with the gary becker quotes, or when life give your tangerine (aku masih belum sanggup nonton) appeared suddenly after i lost my dad, and many other things, and now this.  as i posted before, there is a scene in unwritten seoul that made me realized t...

  jadi, reality club is releasing a new a song. you will find a lover like you and me. i am not into the band tho, but i like to read how people share their feelings in the timeline. it was like reading love letter series. you will find the sadness, the bitterness, but also some hopes. they are all beautifully written.  and ya, just like the theme. the relationship doesnt work out.  i recently was thinking that relationship is really fragile, including with family members, friends, workmates, your loved ones (or people you once loved). and that is sad anyway.  is it weird that people can change from loving someone to hating someone? i once had experiences when i feel people hate me anyway without knowing what my fault is. tapi kaya ya udah, maybe it just doesnt work out.  but i hope we live with big open heart. i hope we will always choose kindness instead of bitterness. i hope we will find the good side of other people and situations (except those evil bad peop...

maybe i am too afraid to ask. but why?

  a midnight random thoughts jadi ada beberapa pola yang kadang gue rasa gue temui ketika ngobrol dengan orang dewasa atau baca timeline dari orang dewasa. there is a sense of how much you should earn or how strong the power that you have or how should you to be success or how high you are in the population hierarchy.  it doesnt mean that is bad though, it is just how the world works. but there are a very few people who i dont find that sense. and that kind of people is super rarely found. people who see themselves and other people as who they are. people who just do what they need to do and they like it and they good at it but at the same time their values is not solely depend on their achievement or their job position. with all abundance of information and what people share in social media, and they bubbling how hard it is and how proud they are and how good it feels achieveing higher ladder, moving to higher social status, then i feel an opportunity to meet  a humbly p...