noticeable

coincidences series: dreams (continue)

i never think seriously about dream again since the dream i saw in high school. a vivid dream about i was being a surgeon right after i did my istikharah. but turns out i was failed (and years after i am gratefull for it). i start not believe in my dream, including the-lists-of-dreams things.

because again, it can be something you regret when you achieve it. and it gives you hurt feelings even more. that is why i wrote something like, punya keinginan, ya ingin aja, tapi ngga terkabul juga ngga papa. 

but then i realized that i try to always listen my feelings (eventhough i have some struggles for it of course). i chosed nutrition in five minutes and i chosed econs also in five minutes and almost all the jobs i had that maybe i will share somewhen. 

long short story, i am really gratefull that i never regret so far for the weird decision i made. 

around 8 years ago..

i've just realized that i start to remember about my dream again after i met someone around in my 24s that made me realized for the first time in my life, i can be so sad and so scrared that i cant be a good friend because i am scared that i cant feel happy if he was with someone else. 

i had some dreams about him and the feeling felt so real but most of them always made me questioning. i dont know why it didnt give me the reassurance or the safe feelings. 

almost two years ago..

and it was around ramadhan last year, i saw him in my dream after i saw a tweet about writings will help you think straight but then i thought there was a questions that i cant answer for so long about will i be happy if i met him again and pray for a sign. i ask Him if it doesnt make me happy please give me an ease to forget him. and suddenly at that night, i met him in my dream. we met in kind of airport and he wanted to meet his supervisor that suddenly gone and he needed to meet the new one and at that time i knew he will pursue the higher degree faraway. but then he gave me a paper and i read it and it was question lists about me that only found in my writings. and i suddenly knew, it was him. it was really him who read my writings. 

and i woke up and i felt strange. maybe it was just a coincidences of my subconsious mind. but somehow you just know when you have the intuition. i know it is strange.

as i said, it wasnt because no reason. he was someone who texted me after the apa kabar post and the confession post. he was the one who i always wonder "would that be him" (now i know that i have that hiperfixation). we never have contact for years and i thought it just the ordinary dreams that appears because of my subconsious mind.

just to find out months later, that one of them is real. my dream was right.

-to be continue-